Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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