I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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