Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
