I hope my margaritas pass through security.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
