well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
