your room smells of hookers.
And success
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
whose parrot is this?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize