Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my phone needs a breathalizer
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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