It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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