Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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