Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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