You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
