his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
