Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
