All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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