It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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