You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
