she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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