He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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