We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
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I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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