his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
