sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
