It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
