im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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