The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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