too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
