Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
