Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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