shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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