he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
