i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
