the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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