ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
