I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
