i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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