im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dicks are not precious.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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