If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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