If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
