1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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