my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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