We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize