This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
