so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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