I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
