..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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