thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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