I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
