you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So here I am, sexting at work.
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