i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
