Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
