i think my tv is drunk
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
