I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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