whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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