Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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