I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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