i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize