i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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