your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
